We’re back, baby
On March 9, 2020, I naively ate my last burger in a restaurant. The next day, our office announced we would work from home for the next 2 weeks. We all know what happened after that…
The last burger I ate before lockdown
The [year who shall not be named] took everything from us. Hope, normalcy, skinny jeans. Most devastating of all, it canceled Portland Burger Week.
Many slogged through these horrific times by fake smiling on Zoom calls, coping with sourdough starters, and trying not to die at the grocery store. I spent the duration of the pandemic refreshing the Burger Week webpage, wondering if I’d ever feel happiness again. At one of my low points, I even considered joining the celebrity “Imagine” compilation video.
Like my hero and idol, Guy Fieri, I made it my personal pandemic mission to keep local restaurants alive, one gluttonous bite at a time. (Or at least that’s what I told myself after ordering takeout for the 5th time in a week). I almost created a takeout version of Burger Week. However, the thought of burning my eyeballs on a screen for one more second was too much to bear. Thus, for an entire year, I ate lukewarm delivery burgers and didn’t write about them – my spark diminished like a broken grill at an abandoned Benihanas.
One of many takeout burgers I planned to write about before I gave up on my burger dreams
How do I find purpose within this soulless, COVID-19 ruin? How can a world survive without my meaningless burger dissertations on the internet?
Finally, after shaving my lockdown beard and putting sweatpants on for the 429th day in a row, a glimmer of hope appeared in the form of grease: Burger. Week. Is. BACK!!!
With my vaccine card in hand, a spreadsheet of carefully organized burger research, and a dream in my heart, I packed up my car, and prepared to tear up I-5 at a reasonable speed.
Meat sweats, I’ll see you soon my old friend.