Unworthy
When in Bend, you go to breweries. “Bend Beer is Better” they say, and the food is usually pretty good too. I’m rarely disappointed with what’s coming out of the kitchen, having had quality pub food all over town.
On this sunny Sunday we ended up at Worthy Brewing, a grotesquely large facility with decent outdoor seating. Everything on the menu looks good, I’m very tempted to get the “Award Winning” Eastside Reuben but I’d been in town for 2 days and had yet to eat a burger. They’ve only got 2 options but this one really caught my eye:
Prefunk Burger
Rainier Natural ground chuck with crisp bacon, fried jalapenos, lettuce, tomato, onion, chipotle aioli, and guacamole on Big Ed’s potato bun
$15
Best paired with Prefunk Pale Ale
Bacon and fried jalapenos, nuff said. I pair it with an Easy Day Kolsch, not that it will matter.
We’re a large group and food starts coming out in waves. I see a Reuben, a Tuscan chicken sandwich, fish tacos, several pizzas, and even my sister’s Prefunk burger come out. Everything but mine. After flagging the waitress, it’s confirmed that they forgot to put in my order. I’m not too fazed, I’ll sip my beer and prefunk off other people’s plates while the kitchen fixes their mistake. The “Award Winning” Reuben? It is indeed fantastic. The chicken sandwich is perfectly cooked and full of Italian inspired flavors. Pizza is pizza (this is a compliment). I notice my sister dousing her burger in ranch, which I find a bit odd. I thought she had better taste than that.
Finally it arrives. I cut it in half to inspect the cross section. The burger looks a little overcooked, but I’m sure the guacamole and aioli will balance that out.
First bite. Crack. WTF was that? Oh, it’s just my rock hard bacon. Second bite. Crack. Something ain’t right. For the first time in my life, I discard the bacon. It’s inedible. It doesn’t get any better from there. The fried jalapenos? Not even fried. The whole thing tastes burnt and very salty, I'm forced to reach for the Ranch to try to save it. Alas, I don’t even finish the burger. Another first.
Everyone else is sitting around, full and happy, while I'm just baffled at the lack of execution. I feel like it's a brewery's duty to be able to produce at least a decent cheeseburger. At this point, it dawns on me: this is the WORST BURGER I’ve ever eaten in my life. This burger is truly unworthy.