burgers

Day One: A Bittersweet Burger Symphony

Day One: A Bittersweet Burger Symphony

I know that all of my Portland burger friends wake to the sweet smell of meats and food creativity. I wake in what can only be poetically described by the Verve’s cherished hit from 1997: it’s a bittersweet symphony, this life. 


I’m trying to fit a square peg into the round hole of my intestines. I have insurmountable doubt  San Francisco will live up to Portland Burger Week. My hopes are low, my cholesterol high. Yet, against all odds, I must push forward. If not me educating on the sacred teachings of Burger, then who? 

DAY FOUR: PUTTIN' ON THE SCHNITZ

DAY FOUR: PUTTIN' ON THE SCHNITZ

I'm forced to skip my lunch burger due to that inconvenience called "work". Ughhhhhhhhhh. I order something with kale for lunch and feel like an imposter. My body is confused – why are we introducing vegetables into the system? This is a red-meat-and-carbs-only zone. My insides will likely stage a rebellion until meat returns. 

DAY TWO: Meat & Greet

DAY TWO: Meat & Greet

3:41 PM: When I was a kid, I was very intrigued by the idea of riding in the Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile. However, hot dogs don't even come close to the miraculous wonder of a cheeseburger. To ride in a cheeseburger car is a dream come true, to say the least. I feel like every second of my life, everything I've ever worked for, every burger I've ever consumed, has lead up to this moment.